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Chủ đề: Some funny quotes

  1. #1
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    Some funny quotes

    I've read these on Internet and want to share with you. Wishing all of you happy everyday and everytime you come to

    Just relax and enjoy

    1. A FuNnY GuY CaN MaKe U LaUgHA SwEeT GuY CaN OpEn Ur He@rT,BuT OnLy @ HoT GuY CaN OpEn Ur LeG$

    2. If Ya SwEeT U CaN CaLl me HoNeY If Ya CuTe U CaN CaLl Me BaBy But If Ya hOt U cAn CaLl Me 2NiGhT!!

    3. A PrEt+Y GiRl CaN KiSs A gUy, A BiRd CaN KiSs A But+ErfLy ThE RiSiNg SuN CaN KiSs Da GrAsS And U mY FrIeNd CaN KiSs My AsS

    4. CaN H@vE Ur PhOtO So I CaN ShOw SaNtA WhAt I wAnT 4 XmAs??

    5. U C@n F@lL FrOm Da SkY Or F@lL FrOm a TrEe BuT ThE BeSt WaY To FaLl Is iN (l) WiTh Me!!

    6. iM A MaThS TeAcHeR, So LeTs PlUs ThE BeD, MiNuS ThE ClOtHeS, DiVidE ThE LeGs, AnD MuLtIpLy

    7. I lost my phone numbers, can i have urs?

    8. God made the wind blow, God made the wind shine, But how the hell did he make u so **** fine

    9. Noboby's perfect there4 i must b Nobody

    10. Roses are red, Violets are funky, Im thinking of you while spanking my monkey

    11. dont hate be because im beautiful, hate me because ur boyfriend thinks i am

    12. Roses are red, violets are black, go to hell and never come back

    13. Why do people report power outages on TV?

    14. A man is a king, a king is a ruler, a ruler is 12 inches... Are you still a man?

    15. this is this cat
    this was is cat
    this is how cat
    this was to cat
    this is keep cat
    this was a cat
    this is idiot cat
    this was busy cat
    Ok? Now read the 3rd word in every line

    For love and friendship

    1. The spaces between our fingers were made so another persons fingers could fill them

    2. If i had to chose 2 love u or to breathe i would choose to take my last breath to say i love you

    3. To LOVE is one thing, to be loved is another, but to be loved by the one you love, is everything.

    4. When I saw you I was afraid to meet you , When I met you I was afraid to kiss you, When I kissed you I was afraid to love you, Now that I love you, I'm afraid to lose you.

    5. Gravity is not responsible for people falling in love. - Albert Einstein

    6. Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say.

    7. A friend is someone who, knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

    8. "We started our group....Our circle of friends....And like that
    circle....There is no beginning or end...."

    For a better life

    1. What lies before us, and what lies behind us are tiny matter compared to what lies within us.

    2. We make a living out of the things we get, but we make a life out of what we give.

    3. Good things come to those who wait. (Correct ! in Counter-Strike, who camping and waiting can kill too many people )

    4. Enjoy the little things, for one day you will look back on your life and realize they were the big things.

    5. There's a little bit of bad in the best of us, and a little bit of good in the worst of us. So none of us, bad or good, have any right to say anything about any of us.

    6. People usually ignore the things you say, but when you show them what you mean, everything changes.

    7. Keep your face to the sunshine and you will never see shadows.

    8. A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other--maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, maybe forever...but it will happen.

    9. You never stop loving someone you truly loved, you just learn how to live without them.

    10. Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules; then you must forget the rules and play by heart.

    11. To find out things we ask, to share we help

    12. You never know what you have until it is gone.

    13. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

    If you find out more, just post them here to share with everyone.
    Quote Quote

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  3. #2
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    Nói nhỏ nè ! ha ha

    the Relax and Enjoy section is good !! yet it seems a bit...MA 15+ rating huh? oops..i'm only 14.5 now

    how dare you say those to the girls? they'll kick your ass.

    by the way,a friend of mine from "the country above USA" usually said: (someone) kick ass = they really smart. don't know if the people over there actually use this expression.

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  5. #3
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    Where did you get those stuff, bossman?
    But the first ones seem to be a little rude, rite?

  6. #4
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    Life iz like a toilet paper; the closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
    Practice makes perfect; but nobody iz perfect. So why practice?
    Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

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  8. #5
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    If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but,
    if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.


    I was born intelligent
    * education ruined me.


    A bus station is where a bus stops.
    A train station is where train stops.
    On your desk, you have a work station....
    what more can I say..........


    Practice makes perfect.....
    But nobody's perfect......
    so why practice?


    If it's true that we are here to help others,
    then, what exactly are the others here for?


    Since light travels faster than sound,
    people appear bright until you hear them speak.


    Money is not everything.
    There's Mastercard & Visa.


    One should love animals.
    They are so tasty.


    Behind every successful man,
    there is a woman.
    And behind every unsuccessful man,
    there are two.


    Every man should marry.
    After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.


    the wise never marry.
    and when they marry they become otherwise.


    Success is a relative term.
    It brings so many relatives.


    Never put off the work till tomorrow
    what you can put off today.


    Love is photogenic
    It needs darkness to develop


    Children in backseats cause accidents
    Accidents in backseats cause children


    "Your future depends on your dreams"
    So go to sleep


    There should be a better way to start a day
    than waking up every morning


    "Hard work never killed anybody"
    But why take the risk !


    When two's company,
    three's the result !


    The more you learn, the more you know,
    The more you know, the more you forget
    The more you forget, the less you know
    So.. why learn.

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  10. #6
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    thanks vikhoa ,i really like'em

  11. #7
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    anyone can go to , there'r alot funny stuff in there.

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  13. #8
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    funny, hehehhehe, but so........

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  15. #9
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    hihi, gửi các chiến hữu :
    Why Not a Dog?
    A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window stating the following: "Help wanted. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer, and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."

    A short time afterward, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager.
    The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office.

    Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.

    The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter, and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.

    The manager was stunned but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer." The dog jumped down and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program
    that worked flawlessly the first time. By this time, the manager was totally dumbfounded.

    He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job."

    The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentence about being an Equal Opportunity Employer.

    The manager said, "Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual."

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  17. #10
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    hahah this is so kick-ass

    btw, I've got some, I translated this from some famous VNese quote... so... I cant state the author specifically.. enjoy

    - My girl friend asked me to tell her I loved her while kissing her.
    - Does a ninety-year-old person live longer than a sixty-year-old one does?
    - What can't be bought be money will be definitely bought by a lot of money.
    - We will have everything if we have a thing called "everything".
    - Raise your hand if you're not here.
    - You look so smart, do u know that, dumb?
    - My mom and my aunt look like sisters!
    - This dog being looked from the left is really like a dog!!!
    - I dont know why I know. but I know that I dont know. So I know or I don't know, I still try to know that I dont know anything at all. What abt you? Do you know why I dont know? Or you also don't know why I know that I dont know!
    - Ladies and gentlemen, I want to announce that we dont have any announcement yet. So when there is an announcement, I will go here and announce.
    - Open your eyes and hear this carefully! (!)
    - Guess where I went to yesterday? If you know that I went to the LP show, I will give you 100 bucks!
    - If I have to choose between you and Rock, I will just choose you and... Rock
    - Go!!! Beat them up! We'd rather die than sacrifice!
    - X sits behind Y. Y sits next to Z
    X tells Y "Who sits next to you is a dumb". Y turns to Z says: "X tells me who sits next to you is a dumb". ()

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