Can you tell me a funny story ???

[anhlovemusic]

lol the next saturday , i will tell a story to all member of my class ..it will be my mark .but i don't know any story in english .. ... if you know ,tell me plz..
thanks .. give me a web talk about funny story ..
in my class ,i 'm the worth sudent i'm very sad ..i don't speak allthing which i'm thinking .i think that i won't pass the next exam ..i'm very wory ..
who can help me to learn speaking english ??lol

[vo_danh_lang_tu]

I think I can help you.My English level is not so bad, therefore you can contact with me.

[anhlovemusic]

can you give me your email?? when i don't know anything i will talk you

[redhotchilli]

Somebody asks his computer a question:
_Can human eat all of mushroom in the forest ?
After a moment counting, it answers:
_yes, they can .But some kind of mushroom , we only eat onetime

[fireball]

I've read some funny stories and i post them here again. Hope you all like them:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Top Jokes In Different Countries

United Kingdom:
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”

United States:
The American data proved to be somewhat strange. Dave Barry is a well known humourist whose columns are syndicated in many American newspapers. In January 2002 he kindly devoted an entire column to LaughLab. At the end of the column he urged readers to submit jokes that simply ended with the punch line: ‘There's a weasel chomping on my privates.’
Within just a few days we had received over 1500 ‘weasel chomping’ jokes.
One weasel joke scored very highly in the USA and almost became the funniest joke in America. Here it is: At the parade, the Colonel noticed something unusual going on and asked the Major: “Major Barry, what the devil's wrong with Sergeant Jones’ platoon? They seem to be all twitching and jumping about.”
“Well sir,” says Major Barry after a moment of observation. “There seems to be a weasel chomping on his privates.”
However, ignoring the weasels, the top American joke was…
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

Canada:
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.

Australia:
This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?”
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight....”

Belgium:
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.

Germany:
A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That's not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: “That's it.”

[anhlovemusic]

ha ha ha ha very good i like them

[misty]

there r still, many more.....

[thaolyonline]

Let's try this one.
(if not enough, go to www.jokecenter.com)
Have fun
Ly.


What Will Our Baby Be Called?

Joke Submitted By: Anonymous


A high school girl finally had the opportunity to go to a party all alone.

Since she was very good looking, she was a bit nervous about
what to do if boys hit on her. Her Mom said, "It is very
easy! Whenever a boy starts hitting on you, you ask him
'what will be the name of our baby?', that will scare them off." So off she went.

After a little while at the party a boy started dancing with
her and,little by little, kissing her and touching her. She
asked him, "What will our baby be called?"

The boy found some excuse and disappeared.

Some time later the same thing happened again, a boy started
to kiss her neck, her shoulders . . . she stopped him and
asked him about the baby's name, he ran off.

Later on another boy invited her for a walk, after a few
minutes he started kissing her and she asked him, "What will
our baby be called?"

He continued, now slowly taking her clothes off. "What will
our baby be called?" she asked once more.

He began to have *** with her. "What will our baby be
called?!" she asked again.

After he was done, he took off his "full" condom, tied it
in a knot and said, "If he gets out of this one . . . David
Copperfield!"

[maychu.net]

It's funny, this topic.