pv_alphah
04-04-2003, 18:54
Chuyen nay doc vui lam, neu ai co nhu cau thi ba'o toi mot cau de toi post tiep. Thanks and bye bye
The blonde went to the doctor and the doctor asked her how she got the hole in her left hand. She said I wanted to die so I was going to shoot myself. I put the gun up to my chest and thought "This isn't right...I would mess up my $3,000.00 boop job"....I then decided to stick the gun up my nose and thought "This won't work....it will mess up my $2,000.00 nose re-construction"...."so I put the gun to my right ear but I am afraid of noise so I put my left hand over my left ear"
New father-in-law to his blonde daughter-in-law...Honey I was going to give you a new computer as a wedding present .... Why didn't you .... I hired a new blonde secretary and she couldn't get the "White Out" off of the screen .... What's "White Out"?
Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, a dumb blonde and a smart blondes are walking down the street when they spot a $100.00 bill. Who picks it up? .... The dumb blonde because there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy or a smart blonde.
A blonde and her boy friend went for a walk along the river. The blonde walked across the bridge to the other side of the river and the bridge fell down .... The blonde yelled to her boy friend .... I can't get back across because the bridge fell down ....Boyfriend yelled back, walk to another bridge .... I can't it's 75 miles .... Wait until it is dark and I will shine my flashlight across the river. You get on the light beam and walk across ....No way, I will get half way across and you will the light off
The blonde and brunette are tossed off a 50 story building. Who hits the ground first .... the brunette. The blonde has to stop and ask for directions.
Why did the blonde couple freeze to death in their car at a drive in theater .... they went to see "closed for the winter".
Why can't blondes get a job in a pharmacist .... they keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.
Two blonds were walking through some woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks" While they were arguing over what kind of tracks they were a train came by and ran over them.
A blonde was telling a priest a Pollock joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm Polish?" .... "Oh, I'm sorry .... do you want me to start over and talk slower?"
A blonde goes into the hair parlor with her walkman on .... I need to take the walkman off .... you can't I'll die .... but I can't cut your hair with the walkman on your ears .....you can't take it off, I'll die .... Flustered the hair stylist grabs the walkman and takes it off of the head of the blonde .... the blonde dies. The police come and listen to the walkman .... it is repeating "breath in", breath out, breath ....
Three blondes were walking through the desert when they found a magic genie's lamp, which said, " I will grant three wishes, one for each of you." The first said "I wish I were smarter", so she became a redhead. The second blond said "I wish I were smarter than her" so she became a brunette. The third blonde said "I wish I were smarter then both of them" so she became a man.
A blonde was driving through Iowa, past some corn fields, when she looked over and saw another blonde. She was setting in the corn rows and was rowing like she was in a boat. The blonde called over to the one in the corn field and said "It is stupid blondes like you that gives the rest of us blondes a bad name. I would come over there and knock your head off .... if I could swim."
A policeman pulled a blonde over while she was driving the wrong way on a one-way street .... cop: Do you know where you are going? .... blonde: No, but whereever it is, it must be bad because all the people are leaving.
Why did the blonde bake a chicken for 3 1/2 hours .... the directions said "cook it for half an hour per pound, she weighted 125 pounds.
How to confuse a blonde? Ask one, "How do you confuse a blonde" and walk away .... they will bug you for the answer all day
There was this Blonde driving home from work and she happened to see another Blonde girl out in a cornfield rowing like she was in a boat. She got out of her car and yelled hey you dumb Bimbo, It's blonde's like you that give all us other blonde's a bad name. I would over and knock your head off .... . if I could swim
Two blondes are walking in the woods. On their venture they come upon a set of tracks. One of them turns to the other and says "I think these are bear tracks." the other disagrees and states "no they are deer tracks" .... while they continue to argue the train hits them
There's a sack of gold in the middle of a room, and in the room, there's the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde. Who gets the gold .... The dumb blonde, because the rest are all make-believe
A blonde, a brunette, a movie star, the pope, and a pilot were on a plane. The plane was going down and there were only 4 parachutes. So the pilot took one and jumped, then the movie star took one and jumped, and then the blonde took one and jumped. The pope told the brunette to take the last one. The brunette said, "There are still 2 parachutes left .... the blonde took my backpack
The blonde painted an X on the bottom of the boat, so she could find the same fishing spot again .... and her blonde friend called her and "idiot" because they may not get the same boat again
What do you call 10 blonds tied together at the bottom of the ocean .... an air pocket
A blond and her boyfriend went for a walk along the river. The blond walked across the river. While on the other side the bridge fell down. She called across to her friend that she couldn't get back. He yelled back, "Wait until dark, I will shine my flash light across the river .... get on the light beam and walk back" She replied .... "No, I'll get half way across and you will turn the light off"
There was a blonde, who was tired of blonde jokes and being made fun of. So she cut and dyed her hair, got a make-over, got in her car and started driving in the country. All of a sudden, she came to a herd of sheep in the road. She stopped her car and went over to the shepherd who was tending to them.
Asking him .... If I can guess the exact number of sheep here will you let me have one? The shepherd thinking this was a pretty safe bet agreed .... 235 said the blonde .... . surprised the shepherd told her to pick one out. She looked around for a while and found one that she really liked .... she picked it up and was petting it. The shepherd walked over to her and said .... If I can guess your real hair color will you give me my sheep back .... the blonde thought it was only fair to let him try .... your a blonde .... now give me back my dog.
A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section. The stewardess tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart and I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."
The stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the woman to leave and she says "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The stewardesses don't know what to do because they have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off, so they get the copilot. The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot what he said to get her to move. The copilot replies .... I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica
There are three blondes stranded on an island, they want to cross the river but they don't know how .... they find a magic lamp. One of the blondes rubs it, the genie says "I'll give each one of you one wish." The first blonde says, "I wish I was ten times smarter than I was now. The blonde then learns to swim and swims across the river. The next blonde says, "I wish I was ten times smarter than she was." The genie turns the blonde into a brunette and she builds a boat and paddles across the river. The next blonde says ,"I wish I was twenty time smarter than both of them put together" .... The genie turns the blonde into a man and walks across the bridge
There were three women walking across the beach, there was a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde and they found a magic lamp. So they rubbed it and of course a genie came out. The genie said" I'll grant you each 1 wish. The brunette said "I wish to be prettier." The genie said "POOF your prettier." The redhead said "I wish to be smarter "The genie said "POOF your smarter." The blonde said "I want to be dumber" The genie said "are you sure." The blonde said "yes I want to be dumber." So the genie said " POOF" and the blonde turned in to a man
Three blonde women stand in front of a wide river and thinking of how they could get to the other side. Suddenly a ghost appears to them and says each of them has one wish. So the first one says, I wanna be a hundred times as smart as I am now. Then she cuts a tree and rows over the river. The second looks at that and says, I wanna be one thousand times as smart as I am now. Then suddenly she jumps to the next group of trees, cuts them all and builds a boat. Then she sails over the river. The third one says, "Fine. I wanna be a million times as smart as I am now." She looks up, sees the bridge, and walks to the other side.
Three blonde's were standing by a wide river and wondering how they could get to the other side. Suddenly a ghost appears to them and tells them they each have one wish. So the first one says, I wanna be a hundred times as smart as I am now. Then she cuts a tree and rows over the river. The second looks at that and says, I wanna be one thousand times as smart as I am now. Then suddenly she jumps to the next group of trees, cuts them all and builds a boat. Then she sails over the river. The third one says, "Fine. I wanna be as smart as man" She looks up, sees the bridge, and walks to the other side.
;)
The blonde went to the doctor and the doctor asked her how she got the hole in her left hand. She said I wanted to die so I was going to shoot myself. I put the gun up to my chest and thought "This isn't right...I would mess up my $3,000.00 boop job"....I then decided to stick the gun up my nose and thought "This won't work....it will mess up my $2,000.00 nose re-construction"...."so I put the gun to my right ear but I am afraid of noise so I put my left hand over my left ear"
New father-in-law to his blonde daughter-in-law...Honey I was going to give you a new computer as a wedding present .... Why didn't you .... I hired a new blonde secretary and she couldn't get the "White Out" off of the screen .... What's "White Out"?
Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, a dumb blonde and a smart blondes are walking down the street when they spot a $100.00 bill. Who picks it up? .... The dumb blonde because there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy or a smart blonde.
A blonde and her boy friend went for a walk along the river. The blonde walked across the bridge to the other side of the river and the bridge fell down .... The blonde yelled to her boy friend .... I can't get back across because the bridge fell down ....Boyfriend yelled back, walk to another bridge .... I can't it's 75 miles .... Wait until it is dark and I will shine my flashlight across the river. You get on the light beam and walk across ....No way, I will get half way across and you will the light off
The blonde and brunette are tossed off a 50 story building. Who hits the ground first .... the brunette. The blonde has to stop and ask for directions.
Why did the blonde couple freeze to death in their car at a drive in theater .... they went to see "closed for the winter".
Why can't blondes get a job in a pharmacist .... they keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.
Two blonds were walking through some woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks" While they were arguing over what kind of tracks they were a train came by and ran over them.
A blonde was telling a priest a Pollock joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm Polish?" .... "Oh, I'm sorry .... do you want me to start over and talk slower?"
A blonde goes into the hair parlor with her walkman on .... I need to take the walkman off .... you can't I'll die .... but I can't cut your hair with the walkman on your ears .....you can't take it off, I'll die .... Flustered the hair stylist grabs the walkman and takes it off of the head of the blonde .... the blonde dies. The police come and listen to the walkman .... it is repeating "breath in", breath out, breath ....
Three blondes were walking through the desert when they found a magic genie's lamp, which said, " I will grant three wishes, one for each of you." The first said "I wish I were smarter", so she became a redhead. The second blond said "I wish I were smarter than her" so she became a brunette. The third blonde said "I wish I were smarter then both of them" so she became a man.
A blonde was driving through Iowa, past some corn fields, when she looked over and saw another blonde. She was setting in the corn rows and was rowing like she was in a boat. The blonde called over to the one in the corn field and said "It is stupid blondes like you that gives the rest of us blondes a bad name. I would come over there and knock your head off .... if I could swim."
A policeman pulled a blonde over while she was driving the wrong way on a one-way street .... cop: Do you know where you are going? .... blonde: No, but whereever it is, it must be bad because all the people are leaving.
Why did the blonde bake a chicken for 3 1/2 hours .... the directions said "cook it for half an hour per pound, she weighted 125 pounds.
How to confuse a blonde? Ask one, "How do you confuse a blonde" and walk away .... they will bug you for the answer all day
There was this Blonde driving home from work and she happened to see another Blonde girl out in a cornfield rowing like she was in a boat. She got out of her car and yelled hey you dumb Bimbo, It's blonde's like you that give all us other blonde's a bad name. I would over and knock your head off .... . if I could swim
Two blondes are walking in the woods. On their venture they come upon a set of tracks. One of them turns to the other and says "I think these are bear tracks." the other disagrees and states "no they are deer tracks" .... while they continue to argue the train hits them
There's a sack of gold in the middle of a room, and in the room, there's the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde. Who gets the gold .... The dumb blonde, because the rest are all make-believe
A blonde, a brunette, a movie star, the pope, and a pilot were on a plane. The plane was going down and there were only 4 parachutes. So the pilot took one and jumped, then the movie star took one and jumped, and then the blonde took one and jumped. The pope told the brunette to take the last one. The brunette said, "There are still 2 parachutes left .... the blonde took my backpack
The blonde painted an X on the bottom of the boat, so she could find the same fishing spot again .... and her blonde friend called her and "idiot" because they may not get the same boat again
What do you call 10 blonds tied together at the bottom of the ocean .... an air pocket
A blond and her boyfriend went for a walk along the river. The blond walked across the river. While on the other side the bridge fell down. She called across to her friend that she couldn't get back. He yelled back, "Wait until dark, I will shine my flash light across the river .... get on the light beam and walk back" She replied .... "No, I'll get half way across and you will turn the light off"
There was a blonde, who was tired of blonde jokes and being made fun of. So she cut and dyed her hair, got a make-over, got in her car and started driving in the country. All of a sudden, she came to a herd of sheep in the road. She stopped her car and went over to the shepherd who was tending to them.
Asking him .... If I can guess the exact number of sheep here will you let me have one? The shepherd thinking this was a pretty safe bet agreed .... 235 said the blonde .... . surprised the shepherd told her to pick one out. She looked around for a while and found one that she really liked .... she picked it up and was petting it. The shepherd walked over to her and said .... If I can guess your real hair color will you give me my sheep back .... the blonde thought it was only fair to let him try .... your a blonde .... now give me back my dog.
A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section. The stewardess tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart and I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."
The stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the woman to leave and she says "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The stewardesses don't know what to do because they have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off, so they get the copilot. The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot what he said to get her to move. The copilot replies .... I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica
There are three blondes stranded on an island, they want to cross the river but they don't know how .... they find a magic lamp. One of the blondes rubs it, the genie says "I'll give each one of you one wish." The first blonde says, "I wish I was ten times smarter than I was now. The blonde then learns to swim and swims across the river. The next blonde says, "I wish I was ten times smarter than she was." The genie turns the blonde into a brunette and she builds a boat and paddles across the river. The next blonde says ,"I wish I was twenty time smarter than both of them put together" .... The genie turns the blonde into a man and walks across the bridge
There were three women walking across the beach, there was a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde and they found a magic lamp. So they rubbed it and of course a genie came out. The genie said" I'll grant you each 1 wish. The brunette said "I wish to be prettier." The genie said "POOF your prettier." The redhead said "I wish to be smarter "The genie said "POOF your smarter." The blonde said "I want to be dumber" The genie said "are you sure." The blonde said "yes I want to be dumber." So the genie said " POOF" and the blonde turned in to a man
Three blonde women stand in front of a wide river and thinking of how they could get to the other side. Suddenly a ghost appears to them and says each of them has one wish. So the first one says, I wanna be a hundred times as smart as I am now. Then she cuts a tree and rows over the river. The second looks at that and says, I wanna be one thousand times as smart as I am now. Then suddenly she jumps to the next group of trees, cuts them all and builds a boat. Then she sails over the river. The third one says, "Fine. I wanna be a million times as smart as I am now." She looks up, sees the bridge, and walks to the other side.
Three blonde's were standing by a wide river and wondering how they could get to the other side. Suddenly a ghost appears to them and tells them they each have one wish. So the first one says, I wanna be a hundred times as smart as I am now. Then she cuts a tree and rows over the river. The second looks at that and says, I wanna be one thousand times as smart as I am now. Then suddenly she jumps to the next group of trees, cuts them all and builds a boat. Then she sails over the river. The third one says, "Fine. I wanna be as smart as man" She looks up, sees the bridge, and walks to the other side.
;)